sleepysparrow

If you want to make an impact in the world, you have to express yourself. And the way you’ve expressed yourself so far has been good, in that it has gotten you to where you are now. But if you want to go beyond where you’ve come, you need to make a shift. And making a shift in how you express yourself is one of the toughest things to do. (Spinning plates, juggling knives, doing a back handspring? Child’s play.)

Expression isn’t about words, and it isn’t about style… even though these factor into it heavily. It’s easy to get into ruts with your language, your catch-phrases, your metaphors. Expression is about viewpoints. It’s about perspective. It’s tied fundamentally to the eyes through which you see the world around you, and all the filters between your brain and the world it’s trying to make sense of.

Try this: think about your business. Think about who you serve, and what you do for them. Write it down. Keep it simple. Got it?

Now, come at it from a completely different angle, and do it again. Try seeing it as you’ve never seen it before. (Go ahead, take a minute and do it. I’ll wait.)

See how frickin’ hard that is?

You might have come up with some different phrases, or maybe a different way of languaging your process. Good for you. But did you notice how easy it was to slip back into your old way of seeing things? Did you feel how hard it was not to trudge down the same road as usual?

What does any of this matter?

It matters because it’s necessary. It matters because, in order to stay on top of the wave of a world that’s in constant flux, you have to constantly be reinventing your view on yourself. Why? Because people are constantly re-evaluating you each and every time they come in contact with you, and if you keep on spouting the same old tired platitudes, you’ll slip gently into the good night of obsoleteness.

As Hugh McLeod (of gapingvoid.com) wrote in his HughTrain Manifesto,

It’s no longer just enough for people to believe that your product does what it says on the label. They want to believe in you and what you do. And they’ll go elsewhere if they don’t.

It’s not enough for the customer to love your product. They have to love your process as well.

Now this isn’t some isolated business-speak, devoid of deeper implications or the need for actual human intimacy, here. Hugh goes on to say, “It’s not about merit. It’s about faith. Belief. Conviction. Courage. It?s about why you?re on this planet. To make a dent in the universe.” In other words, if you want to reach people, you have to dig deep. You have to extract the essence of what you’re about, and offer it up on a platter to anyone and everyone who reads you, gets in contact with you, or even remotely thinks about hiring you. And if you hope for being referred to others, be prepared to share your soul.

And, my friends, none of this can be done without some open-hearted introspection, dogged determination to strike to the core of who you are and what you do, and the genuine desire to connect with your fellow (wo)man. If you insist on mamby-pamby’ing around with superficialities, you’ll marginalize yourself. There’s too much ambient noise these days to just whimper, and expect to be heard. If you want to be heard, you’ve gotta yawp.

I know, I know…

This is tough stuff. This is bare-naked, raw-to-the-bone stuff. But it doesn’t have to be ugly. It can be a glorious sharing of your innermost desires, an arms-wide-open invitation to the world to glimpse the essence of who you are. And sharing of that magnitude rarely goes unrewarded.

Some may not like what they see. Some may object, driven by their own fears and doubts, and blame you for their pain. Others may counsel you to take a safer road, or keep hidden, or “appear professional (i.e. do ‘the ostrich routine’).” I say, let them have their way. You forge yours. Let them leave. You stay. And shine.

Some people—the right people, the people who matter—will love you for it. Why? Because you’ve given them something to love, something to wrap their hands around and hug. Those who stay hidden can’t touch, or be touched, like this.

It takes courage to step outside of your comfort zone. But that’s okay. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

ShareThis

Basak

There is a saying in business: “If you are unhappy with someone’s service, ‘talk with your feet.’” Meaning, leave. They say that the window to please a customer these days is getting shorter and shorter.

But that’s a completely ridiculous course of action. (Not to mention, childish.)

The problem with this strategy is that a) you, as a patron, don’t get what you want, and b) the business doesn’t get what it wants. The business obviously wants happy customers, people to have a long-term relationship with and, ultimately, success.

But you want the same thing, right? You want whatever amazing benefit or solution you went to the company for in the first place. Say, for example, you went with a company because you liked the way they did things, i.e. you liked their service or you like their product, and while you were getting it, you were happy.

But then, they changed something. They changed the way they delivered the product, or they changed their logo or their colors (hey, I’ve known people who’ve jumped ship for smaller reasons!). Who knows what it was, but they made some change and you don’t like it.

And what is the typical response? Talk with your feet, right? You unsubscribe, leave, or just stop buying their product. Now, if you’re one of the rare few, maybe you give the company feedback before you leave, saying, “I don’t like this new change; I think you were better before.” But then, you’re gone.

But who suffers most?

You’ve left, feeling upset (but justified)… but now, you’re no longer getting the juicy stuff. You’re without the service that you went there for originally. And, unless you’re one of the rare few, the company has no idea why you’ve left. Either way, you lose, and they lose.

And here’s the long-term view: what if the company changes back? You don’t even know about it, because you’re not paying attention anymore. Big mistake.

In order to get what you want, you need to help the company to improve by giving them the feedback you have for them… and then, stick around. Be there when they change. And if they don’t, tell them again. Ask why they’re doing it the way they are. Get in their face, if you need to. It’s how relationships get worked out, and not just abandoned.

A personal example…

I had a student once in one of my classes who used to complain about just about everything (seriously). In the beginning, this drove me crazy (I figured she hated how I taught) and, of course, it brought up all my insecurities about my abilities. But then I realized it’s not that she didn’t like me… she actually loved me. She just wanted the best that I could give her, and she knew I was capable of it.

Luckily (claiming no genius on my part), I was able to put down my ego and make the changes that she asked for. And not only did it improve her experience, but it also made the class much better for everyone (they told me so after the fact). It was a win-win situation all the way around.

So, the next time a company or business that you like—be it Apple Computer, the plumber down the street, or a Thai restaurant you visit—changes anything they do for the worse, or if you just have a bad experience, tell them about it. Speak up, but then stick around and see how they make their changes.

You’ll be much happier in the end.

ShareThis

L-R: Christine Kane, me, Chris Cree,Chris Garrett

No exploding tires, no big catastrophe this time, don’t worry.

But I had it in mind to write a great review of what happened at SOBCon08, and then I thought—especially in light of all the great reviews being posted out there—would that really be helpful? Would it help you to hear about the things I did, the food I ate, thepeople I talked to, and the sights I saw on my trip to Chicago this month?

No, not really. It probably wouldn’t. (Other than to give you social proof that SOBCon is great, and you should really go next year if you’re even at all curious.)

So, what would benefit you?

1. I had a great time. Now you can be happy for me.
2. It was a great catalyst for a number of decisions I needed to make, and you’ll be hearing about the fruits of those decisions very, very soon.
3. It reinforced for me the importance of friendship, community, and why it’s so great to go to events like this.

Because the information I heard was great, but it didn’t make as large an impact on me as when I went last year. At SOBCon07, I had been blogging about three weeks… so the information presented blew me away. Everything that anyone said was so helpful, so new, so eye-opening.

But this time, with a year of blogging behind me (never liked the whole ‘under my belt’ metaphor), it was the people I met and hung out with that really made the event. Last year’s connections and friendships got renewed and deepened, and I got to meet a bunch of new people, too. I even got to hug a few fabulous people I’ve known from across the world, and met face-to-face with for the first time.

And, true, I made some great business connections, too. It turns out that quite a few people are in need of a Wordpress-based webdesigner, or know people who are, and so I ran out of business cards before too long (a problem I’m happy to have). And, it was the first time I’ve really been at a public event since making the transition to full-time webdesign work, and it felt good to call myself a webdesigner, and not have to try to explain all kinds of esoteric, spiritual-intuitive stuff. (And, admittedly, it was great to be with other web-and-blog-savvy folks, so I didn’t just have to say, “I make websites…”)

In the week or so since being in Chicago, what I think back on the most was the time spent laughing, talking, eating, walking, and shmoozing with the wonderful people. As someone who works alone, at home, 99% of the time, having a chance to “press the flesh” (and I mean that in the cleanest of ways) with friends and colleagues is indispensible.

Relationships are the cornerstone of what makes life juicy, I believe.

• Looking at it in a worldly way, you could say that life isn’t made by the stuff we have, or the things we do, but by the lives we touch and the hearts we influence and are influenced by. Some of the best moments in our lives are the ones involving other people, and the deep, meaningful connections we have with them.
• Looking at it in a spiritual way, you could say (as many have and do) that we are all One. That at our core, we are all connected by the spirit that enlivens and interpenetrates everything… and the more connection we experience, the more fulfilling and meaningful our lives become. And the more we interact and relate with people, given the right intention, the more we realize this.

Of course, these are two perspectives that start where they start and meet in the middle, but I find that to be indicative of most truths. The more you look at it, the more you see the same thing being said, just from different angles.

And so, it turns to you

What’s your social situation like? Are you normally alone, or saturated by contact? And because both are important for all kinds of reasons, we each need strategies to get the right balance of what we need, when we need it, of course… but just so we don’t make this too cumbersome a conversation, let’s focus on the get-you-more-people-time side, for now (we’ll get into the get-you-more-alone-time side later.)

What do you do to get more people-time?

ShareThis