Personal Development
Which Of The 3 S’s Are You?
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I read an article years ago about tall people, and their supposed nomenclature for describing how tall they are. “What are you?”, one tall guy says to another. “Three,” says the second guy, who’s 6′3″. “You?”, he continues.
“Five,” says the 6′5″ guy, clearly feeling superior about the extra two inches of height he was given (and didn’t lift a finger for). The two men size themselves up for a moment, swagger and grunt a few times, and both walk away feeling good that they’re in the upper percentiles of vertically-endowed men, and equally happy they didn’t come across LeBron James. Or Leonid Stadnyk.
Is This True?
I don’t honestly know, although I can say with all certainty, as someone who’s 6′4″ myself, I’ve never referred to myself as “four”, nor have I ever had some guy come at me and say he was “six” or “one” or “hey, I’m four, too.”
The idea, though, of self-identifying with a number is, of course, pretty darn silly (not to mention indicative of some serious insecurities that you should probably seek help with). There are plenty of metrics you can use to get a better grip on where you are in your life, and height isn’t one of them, unless you’re a teenage NBA hopeful. For the rest of us, let’s take a look at one metric that can have direct bearing on the kinds of conversations you should—and shouldn’t—be having.
The Three S’s
The Three S’s come from Rick Warren’s A Purpose-Driven Life, which is a phenomenal best-seller about finding your purpose in life. I haven’t read the book myself, but Rick’s TED talk is a great one.
One of the essential gems of Rick’s teachings is about the stages of life that people go through on their way towards a life of purpose: Survival, Success, and Significance. Here I go, paraphrasing again…
- In Survival, you’re just trying to hold on.
- In Success, you’re making it work.
- In Significance, you’re used to having it work, and now you’re concerned with making it count.
As you can tell, these are three very different modes of being to live in. The feelings, experiences, and concerns of each mode are very, very specific (the more of these you’ve experienced, the more you know what I’m talking about). The kinds of conversations happening in your life are very dependent on the “S-level” you’re at. Or, at least, they should be.
When you’re trying to make your bills, and keep the power from being shut off, you’re not talking much about trips to the French Riviera, or what color Bentley you want to drive… and that’s a good thing. It’s just not healthy to put a lot of energy into conversations that pull your focus away from where it needs to be.
Think about it: Is it really worth twenty minutes of poring through swatches to figure out what color of carpet you want in your Tesla, when you’re getting ten phone calls a day from bill collectors? Should you really be planning that pilgrimage to Mt. Kailas when you’re a financially-induced vegetarian? Your time is better spent figuring out how you’re going to put food on the table and pay the electric bill.
You can’t pursue your purpose if your basic needs of life are not met.
Now, I can already hear the Law of Attraction devotees screaming at me, “But we’re supposed to focus on what we want!” Of course you are. Dream, visualize, create vision boards… do it all. But remember what the big key is to moving forward: Action. And the best kind of action is action that’s taking account of your needs in the moment.
It is absolutely essential then that, before you take any drastic action, you first sit down and decide what your true needs are. What do you need to survive – to pay rent, to buy food, to keep the lights on and the water running? What do you NEED – not WANT – what do you NEED in order to ensure that freedom in your mind and in your reality.
The greatest thing about these quotes is who said them: Bob Proctor. That’s right! King of the Secret, Mr. Law of Attraction himself… Bob wrote that in a 9-page article called, “Purpose, Vision, Goals” in 2003. He goes on to give great advice about getting clear on what your needs really are, and how to start pursuing your dreams without putting yourself in jeopardy. I highly recommend it (and since it’s free, you can get your hands on a copy no matter what conversation you’re in).
Besides, I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction (it just makes darn good sense, in my opinion). Focusing on what you want, believing that you can achieve it, and working towards it with passion… that’s a great recipe for success.
What seems to trip up so many people, though, is that when they’re just starting their businesses, or looking for ways to engineer their perfect lives, they try to get their businesses airborne AND figure out if what they’re doing is what they’re “supposed” to be doing.
When I read Bob Proctor’s piece about not stressing about figuring out your place in the universe while you’re building your life, it just made perfect sense to me. It’s tough enough creating a business, marketing yourself, and serving your patrons without wondering at every turn if you’re fulfilling your ultimate destiny.
So, as you’re creating your suited-to-the-moment plan for the life you want,
- Take into account which “S-level” you’re at,
- Come up with a plan to:
- handle your present moment, while
- visualizing your positive future
- Trust that when the time comes to reap what you’ve sown (whether it’s in Success or Significance), you’ll be ready for it.
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Discussion
3 comments for “Which Of The 3 S’s Are You?”
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2008 Viverati. 
Thanks for sharing the 3 S’s, I hadn’t heard of these. It puts a lot of things in perspective.
This is good advice. I’ve been in all three modes during my lifetime, so I’d say these criteria can change (perhaps as life purpose changes or deepens?). The rug gets pulled out from my feet from time to time, but the upside is that I know I’ve been “up” before and will get there again. I’m currently starting all over again and am back in survival mode… still living my life purpose, just without the finances to back me up.
You’re welcome, Ria. It did the same for me…
Thanks, Louise — so true; the cyclical nature of it all… and, they say that once you’ve been there, it’s easier to get back to it, because you know what it’s like inside to be at that level.
Be -> Do -> Have, and all that.